There are certain things, which are hard to explain, but valid nonetheless, which you refuse to bargain. You know who you are, and what goes against your grain, and those things have become your foundation, your core, your rock. These things make you who you are and become your moral compass, pushing you in one direction, steering clear of others.
See, I have always known I have had this foundation inside of me. In times of stress I cling to it, sometimes to a fault, compelling me to hold on and hold tight, no matter where my life leads me. But, herein lies the mystery for me. It is rare that I will let something in so deeply to my heart and to my foundation that it then becomes a part of who I am. New things...new concepts...new people....foreign elements to my life have never had a place in my core foundation. Instead I have held dear to my family...the same friends I have had since high school...the person I have always thought myself to be.
Now bear with me as I try to explain how my foundation has been cracked. Not in a bad way, mind you...let's just say I have realized my core has just expanded to include one more person.
I have always been the type of person who never believed in soul mates. I thought, sure, there are people out there who may compliment you, who you have the potential to build relationships with over time because you naturally "fit" together. And, to a certain degree, I still believe this. But, I have grown to learn over time that once you start to let someone in, and love them and get to know them as a part of your life for a certain period of time, your heart can begin to need them. You may not be predestined to be together, or connected to them in some spiritual way, but I now know it is possible to love someone with every piece of your heart.
Once you begin to love someone in this way, then they become a part of who you are. At some point, there is no turning away...they have officially played into the cliche' of "leaving footprints in your heart." Sure, you could walk away and live life without that person, but the fact of the matter is, you don't WANT to. Instead, you make a decision that the good FAR outweighs the bad. You imagine yourself without this person and you only see bits and pieces...there is no solitary YOU anymore than there would be if you decided to strip away the family, and the friends, and the life that has formed your foundation.
What I have discovered is that this person may not be predestined to me by some divine contract, but that I would never go on without him. I simply don't WANT to. It isn't a dramatic, movie-like story of two people who meet and fall in love and live happily ever after. Instead it is the story of two people who have decided life is better...and the load a little bit lighter...when they are together.
It is then that this person becomes a part of that foundation that you have guided your life by. It is then, when you decide life is simply better with that person, that you have adjusted your entire existence to include and accommodate them in your heart...forever.
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